Long-Distance Relationships and Travel: 7 Tips, Costs, Experiences
Apart for so long: How is this going to work?
Overview
- Intro
- Tip 1 - Communication
- Tip 2 - Expectations
- Tip 3 - Relaxation
- Tip 4 - Trust
- Tip 5 - Affection
- Tip 6 - Surprises
- Tip 7 - Reunion
- What about the costs?
- Miscellaneous - Open Communication
- Miscellaneous - Happy Ending
- Miscellaneous - Meet Hanna
- Frequently Asked Questions
Nils (Team KiwiQuest)
Traveling solo – your partner stays at home. In New Zealand, I constantly met backpackers who left their partners at home in Germany and were apart for over a year – at least physically. Back then, I couldn’t comprehend it: “That must be a huge burden! I’d never do that!” Until I fell in love, but wanderlust pulled me abroad, and whoops, I was one of them. Just like that.
No need to sugarcoat the spectacle of long-distance relationships. Sometimes the “love from afar” project fails over time. The reasons are usually jealousy and lack of trust.
Therefore, here’s a few tricks to help your relationship withstand a 18,353 km distance without harm.
Ready? Let’s go!
Intro
My Long-Distance Relationship Odyssey
Long-distance relationships. That’s always been my thing, in every conceivable form. Whether within Germany, across Europe, or to the other side of the world.
At 14, my first boyfriend lived in Berlin while I attended school in Cologne. In later relationships, my partner temporarily moved to America, was a Kiwi from New Zealand, or was stuck in Germany while I traveled through Asia for months.
Initially, I felt it was unfortunate to always find myself in this form of partnership. Today, I see the positive aspects and want to share them with you. Long-distance relationships can even be worthwhile!
Tip 1 - Communication
Communicating via WhatsApp can cause misunderstandings that could develop into a huge, long-lasting argument across the distance. An argument that might not even start at home or would be resolved in no time with personal contact. If it does happen, resolve it immediately instead of putting it off. Over the distance, it’s easy to avoid your partner by ignoring calls and messages and bottling up the grief.
So the crucial advice:
Talk on the phone more, text less to avoid these problems from the start.
Tip 2 - Expectations
Lower your expectations and don’t assume regular texting from your partner. Expectations are dangerous in relationships, as your partner might struggle to meet them. Higher expectations bring bigger disappointments. Arguments are pre-programmed.
So if you both have clear ideas about how the other should behave in the long-distance relationship and, for example, how often phone calls or WhatsApp contact should happen, settle that before the journey.
Tip 3 - Relaxation
The most important lesson for you will be to enjoy your time in New Zealand alone and not be mentally tied to your partner constantly. Start to appreciate solitude. There, you can pursue desires that perhaps only you can fulfill. Make the most for yourself!
A Real Dilemma!
I once met a girl who spent a year in Canada as an au pair after graduating high school. She was in a relationship and decided with a heavy heart to go abroad. “The whole year I was nowhere mentally. Neither with my host family in Canada, because I missed my boyfriend so much, nor with my boyfriend, since he was in Germany.”
Tip 4 - Trust
Trust should be the foundation of any relationship. Such a journey puts that to the test! Jealousy essentially only makes you miserable.
As the saying goes:
Jealousy is a passion that finds with zeal what causes suffering.
It precisely highlights your insecurities and fears. See if you can discover where these fears come from. Maybe from your childhood? Then try to let go, and focus on the positive aspects of the long-distance relationship and your partner. Stay calm, set aside your worries, and trust in your partner’s feelings.
Note:
By the way, if it reassures you...
Tip 5 - Affection
One of the biggest issues in long-distance relationships is the lack of physical contact and the inability to exchange tender moments and kisses. So, find other ways now and then to add some romance. Just because the distance is huge doesn’t mean you have to give up on your mutual sexual desire.
Note:
How about scheduling a date?
Tip 6 - Surprises
Small surprises can also help maintain passion in a long-distance relationship. How about a love message via video? Small gifts by mail? Or a handwritten love letter that, due to the Internet age, has become something special? It makes hearts beat faster, and your partner will feel appreciated. Your imagination has no limits.
While it won’t replace physical closeness, it slightly eases the longing.
Mail from NZ!
During my travels in New Zealand, I sent my boyfriend a postcard from each of my favorite spots. It thrilled him to know I was thinking of him and involved him in my life. He ended up pinning almost 15 cards to his wall.
Tip 7 - Reunion
The good thing about your long-distance relationship: It’s only temporary! You both know this phase will end someday, and you’ll be reunited. Planning the reunion and making plans for the time after strengthens your bond, brings more happy moments, and motivates you to not give up.
Plan together how you’ll fall into each other’s arms at the airport, how you’ll spend your first hours together, and what your life path will look like after.
Note:
Warning!
What about the costs?
It’s pretty self-explanatory nowadays, but: Keeping in touch with your love back home is mostly free of charge. In the Internet age, numerous free apps make communication much easier. You only indirectly pay for things like flat rates, Wi-Fi, a phone & more.
Note:
Costs only mount when...
Miscellaneous - Open Communication
Open communication isn’t just super important in long-distance relationships. When you share your needs, mood, and thoughts, it creates more closeness and leaves no unnecessary room for interpretation for your partner.
Solo Adventure
Once, I was on a multi-day hike on the North Island’s rainforest. No internet or even the ability to charge my phone. I simply told my boyfriend, “This week is for me.” Despite missing our communication, he understood and accepted it.
Be open when you’re sad and why. Unexpressed emotions can amplify negativity. Shared sorrow isn’t just halved — it strengthens the relationship if you overcome it together. In general: couples that learn to solve all kinds of problems together and develop a sense of unity have the most stable relationships. Communication is key!
Miscellaneous - Happy Ending
Ha! Gaaay!
Personally, the listed tips helped my partner and me survive the time apart and even grow as a couple. Our relationship became healthier. We learned to manage our jealousy and issues, almost eliminating them, and we now appreciate each other even more.
Miscellaneous - Meet Hanna
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About
Hanna has been traveling the world for years, exploring foreign lands and cultures. Thanks, Hanna, for your support! In exchange, here's our Seal of Approval:
Frequently Asked Questions
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We wish you an amazing adventure!
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